Can I get a whoop whoop? Yesterday we held our first Colorado FSA chapters fireside and it was totally AWE-some. Doug and I are now on fire about adoption. It was an perfect night filled with the spirit.
At best Doug and I hoped that there would be 20 people there. How about 94! Ya, thank the Lord that we haven't had snow in the last week so people were able to travel!
I am still in awe how everything turned out and how beautiful each of the messages were. We had three speakers. First was an Adoptive Couple who tagged teamed their talk. Then Second, we had a birth parent who is also an adoptee who has also adopted. Thirdly, we had an Adoptee speak, who recently reunited with her birth parents (after 40 years).
They had us laughing and crying. And I would have to say when the formal program was over, no one wanted to leave. There is something so special about being with people that love adoption too. Our theme was "Letting Love Lead" borrowed from the National conference.
One of the most touching stories was from the Adoptee who told about an afghan that was knitted by her biological Aunt. She talked about how this afghan was knitted with love and compared this to her life and how different people have woven stitches of love into her life.
I would have to say last night was a glimpse of heaven for us. It is truly amazing how the Lord is in the details of our lives and knows each of us individually. One of the most insightful comments from the adoptive mom was her understanding that "adoption was not her second choice......but a calling." She stated that she felt like she was chosen for this role. What a beautiful message!
From our birth mom we learned how a mother feels about a child that she placed over 22 years ago. She talked about her feelings finding out she was pregnant, how she decided on adoption, and how much she loves her son. I will never forget the images in my mind, as she described her first few tender moments with her son in the hospital. She wanted to remember "the way he laughed, his smell, the way he looked...."
My heart is full hearing about all these stories and how love truly lead the way in each of these miracles. Like a friend said last night, "I love hearing adoption stories....Sometimes I think I have heard them all and then I hear another one and I am just amazed at the miracle."
November 9, 2009
November 7, 2009
This Weekend!
It's Adoption Awareness Month. So what does that mean? How is this different than any other month?
Well everyone is blogging, writing articles, or holding conferences all about adoption this month. We have organized a Adoption Fireside for the FSA Colorado chapter. We are going to have an adoptive couple, a birth mom, and an adopted child all speak. We refer to this as the adoption triad. Since this is the first time we have done something like this we are a bit nervous but really excited. So I wanted to give you all the details.
It will be on Sunday, November 8th (tomorrow) at 7:00 p.m. at the LDS Meeting House 2710 S Monaco Pkwy, Denver (the corner of Yale and Monaco)
Please invite your family and friends to come hear how the lives of an adoptive couple, adopted child, and a birth mother have been touched by the miracle of adoption. There will also be refreshments!
Well everyone is blogging, writing articles, or holding conferences all about adoption this month. We have organized a Adoption Fireside for the FSA Colorado chapter. We are going to have an adoptive couple, a birth mom, and an adopted child all speak. We refer to this as the adoption triad. Since this is the first time we have done something like this we are a bit nervous but really excited. So I wanted to give you all the details.
It will be on Sunday, November 8th (tomorrow) at 7:00 p.m. at the LDS Meeting House 2710 S Monaco Pkwy, Denver (the corner of Yale and Monaco)
Please invite your family and friends to come hear how the lives of an adoptive couple, adopted child, and a birth mother have been touched by the miracle of adoption. There will also be refreshments!
October 25, 2009
Getting out of the House
I must have worked Doug too hard on Saturday, because his cough is back. So I told him that he needed to stay in bed. So on Sunday I went to church alone. Terrifying I know! wink, wink. In fact I thought I could also take a sick day from church, but I still had to teach RS. Well, I was sure glad I did go to church, because the drive home was beautiful. The sky, the mountains, and the water were all shades of beautiful blue.
Doesn't Doug make a good looking sick person?!We were supposed to get a couple of inches of snow, which never materialized, but we did get the most interesting clouds, snowcapped mountains and foothills. It amazes me every time there is a storm in Colorado that you can see where it ends and sometimes where it begins.
I was a bit worried from the forecast that I would have to drive to church in the snow, but out our bedroom window as I looked north, all I could see was beautiful blue sky. After church and the Lady's walk Doug and I took a quick drive to try and capture it, although I fear we were a bit late.
I love this little pond area and barn. Next time we go, I hope the gates are open so we can drive down to it.
End of the Season
Yesterday we turned this:
Into This:
Yesterday we spent over 8 hours in the kitchen. We finally finished off the 37 pounds of tomatoes that we had stockpiled. We made salsa that we froze, 7 Quarts of Tomatoes, 11 pints of flavored Tomato Sauce, and while we waited, we also cut, diced, cooked, and pureed 6 pumpkins.
(Below) Doug had a good laugh when he saw that my apron matched our pumpkin puree. The biggest laugh is when I went to the mailbox with my duck slippers on, which also matched my apron.
Into This:Yesterday we spent over 8 hours in the kitchen. We finally finished off the 37 pounds of tomatoes that we had stockpiled. We made salsa that we froze, 7 Quarts of Tomatoes, 11 pints of flavored Tomato Sauce, and while we waited, we also cut, diced, cooked, and pureed 6 pumpkins.
(Below) Doug had a good laugh when he saw that my apron matched our pumpkin puree. The biggest laugh is when I went to the mailbox with my duck slippers on, which also matched my apron.
October 23, 2009
Passion + Time= Expert
When I first started working for the welfare program, I was quickly thrown into the world of appeals. I had to learn really fast on my feet, what the programs were, what had happened to cause a filing, and was the decision correct.
In fact, one co-worker told me that when you go to a hearing you need to tell the Judge that you are an "EXPERT" in......this program or that program. Although I never heard a judge ask me if I was an "expert" in my program area, I found out that he sure expected me to know the rules and were to find them in the middle of the hearing.
From time to time, I worked with different attorneys and found that they were just people too. I found that most of the time, the term "expert" was related to the time, preparation, and details included in the appeal packet that showed the real expertise.
I will never forget a packet I spent a least 8 hours, copying, filing, organizing, highlighting, index tabbing and then shipped it off to the attorney for review. I will never forget the phone call where the attorney told me "well done, I do not see how you could lose."
This week I had to give an adoption presentation to a family that I remotely know. I have done adoption presentations before, but I was more nervous this time. I felt like I was not very well prepared and questioned whether I could even be the presenter.
I mean who made me an "expert" in the field of adoption?
I quickly reminded myself, that I was backed by the agency to give the presentation; I've done this before and I am prepared.......are they going to be? Whether or not it is about adoption or about sewing, knitting, cooking, motorcycles, basketball, physics, or whatever, anyone can become "expert" at if they have a passion, time, and are organized.
I was reminded of a talk that was given at the FSA National Conference about being an adoption advocate. One of the things the presenter, Mrs. R said was "if you feel it is important, you can make time for it." I know I have a lot to learn as far as adoption goes and I also know that like anything in life, I will need to re-learn principles about adoption throughout our life (since this a life long plus eternity commitment) I want to spread the joy we have found through studying adoption. I am willing to give the time to learn.
Each precious child that is placed for adoption is a miracle. A miracle that all is well. A miracle that the birth parents made a selfless, and courageous decision, for the benefit of their child. A miracle that makes a silent home, one filled with noise, joyful noise.
I hope these thoughts, will help dispel any myths or misconceptions about the wonderful world of adoption. Let me relate a story that was recently told to me.
As many of you know, I love adoption and I love family history. Recently a friend, (we'll call him Bob) got interested in his family history. Both of his parents are deceased and he wanted to gather information about ancestors as well as medical history. He was feeling discouraged one day and decided to ask our family about genealogy and related the stumbling blocks he had encountered. We felt impressed to share with him our experiences with DNA research. He got excited and was interested in pursuing DNA research.
After further discussing his plans for DNA research with an Aunt, he was told by his Aunt, "well that might be difficult, seeing as you were adopted." Can you imagine finding out after your parents are deceased that you were adopted. Can you imagine the questions? the frustrations? the feelings? you might have, after learning that you were never told such important information.
I hope that by keeping my blog open, and expressing my feelings without reservation, that myths about adoption are dispelled. That our journey to become fruitful, although laced with sorrows, will shine for everyone to see, how the Lord's hand works in each adoption miracle. And that open adoption is not only healing for the birth parents, but also for the child.
In fact, one co-worker told me that when you go to a hearing you need to tell the Judge that you are an "EXPERT" in......this program or that program. Although I never heard a judge ask me if I was an "expert" in my program area, I found out that he sure expected me to know the rules and were to find them in the middle of the hearing.
From time to time, I worked with different attorneys and found that they were just people too. I found that most of the time, the term "expert" was related to the time, preparation, and details included in the appeal packet that showed the real expertise.
I will never forget a packet I spent a least 8 hours, copying, filing, organizing, highlighting, index tabbing and then shipped it off to the attorney for review. I will never forget the phone call where the attorney told me "well done, I do not see how you could lose."
This week I had to give an adoption presentation to a family that I remotely know. I have done adoption presentations before, but I was more nervous this time. I felt like I was not very well prepared and questioned whether I could even be the presenter.
I mean who made me an "expert" in the field of adoption?
I quickly reminded myself, that I was backed by the agency to give the presentation; I've done this before and I am prepared.......are they going to be? Whether or not it is about adoption or about sewing, knitting, cooking, motorcycles, basketball, physics, or whatever, anyone can become "expert" at if they have a passion, time, and are organized.
I was reminded of a talk that was given at the FSA National Conference about being an adoption advocate. One of the things the presenter, Mrs. R said was "if you feel it is important, you can make time for it." I know I have a lot to learn as far as adoption goes and I also know that like anything in life, I will need to re-learn principles about adoption throughout our life (since this a life long plus eternity commitment) I want to spread the joy we have found through studying adoption. I am willing to give the time to learn.
Each precious child that is placed for adoption is a miracle. A miracle that all is well. A miracle that the birth parents made a selfless, and courageous decision, for the benefit of their child. A miracle that makes a silent home, one filled with noise, joyful noise.
I hope these thoughts, will help dispel any myths or misconceptions about the wonderful world of adoption. Let me relate a story that was recently told to me.
As many of you know, I love adoption and I love family history. Recently a friend, (we'll call him Bob) got interested in his family history. Both of his parents are deceased and he wanted to gather information about ancestors as well as medical history. He was feeling discouraged one day and decided to ask our family about genealogy and related the stumbling blocks he had encountered. We felt impressed to share with him our experiences with DNA research. He got excited and was interested in pursuing DNA research.
After further discussing his plans for DNA research with an Aunt, he was told by his Aunt, "well that might be difficult, seeing as you were adopted." Can you imagine finding out after your parents are deceased that you were adopted. Can you imagine the questions? the frustrations? the feelings? you might have, after learning that you were never told such important information.
I hope that by keeping my blog open, and expressing my feelings without reservation, that myths about adoption are dispelled. That our journey to become fruitful, although laced with sorrows, will shine for everyone to see, how the Lord's hand works in each adoption miracle. And that open adoption is not only healing for the birth parents, but also for the child.
October 19, 2009
Abandon Misconceptions
This week we have been focusing on getting better and staying well. It seems everyone around us is sick and we hope that the sick wave has passed over our house.
This week, we started an adoption journal for our prospective child. We have not been selected yet, we have not met anyone that would indicate to us that we are going to adopt, but we feel strongly that it will happen soon.
In fact, we were asked two weeks ago if we would accept an older child and were given a day to decide. Doug and I both prayed separately, then together. The feeling was mutual, we needed to WAIT a little longer, this is not the right plan for you. Can you believe our answer is to wait?
This is not the first time we have had one of these experiences. Although this time, around it was easier to accept because we learned what happens when you do not listen. As we ponder, when we will receive an email, or phone call, we are trying all the while to remember how this is the Lord's plan.
This week we were reminded that not everyone in our circle of family and friends may "get it" yet that we are going to adopt.
Some of the phrases that we have heard over the last 6 1/2 years of marriage, go something like this:
One of the great mentor's in my life sent me an email recently that has resonated with me. She stated: "One of the things I've really come to learn through watching your process is how much support birth mothers need regardless of their decision."
We do not know how our life will turn out or how our birth mother will come to the brave decision to place her child for adoption. However, we do know that open adoption is a miracle, a gift, and a life decision. Our child will be loved by two families united by adoption. You can either be a partaker of this gift or left in the dark. By educating oneself, you can learn how to become a support to birth moms and adoptive couples.
Over the course of the last 6 months, teaching and supporting has been our main goal. There are many couples who struggle with infertility and who finally decide to adopt. Once this decision is made, the couple needs people around them who are willing to abandon previous misconceptions and be willing to be open minded.
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."- Donna Roberts
This week, we started an adoption journal for our prospective child. We have not been selected yet, we have not met anyone that would indicate to us that we are going to adopt, but we feel strongly that it will happen soon.
In fact, we were asked two weeks ago if we would accept an older child and were given a day to decide. Doug and I both prayed separately, then together. The feeling was mutual, we needed to WAIT a little longer, this is not the right plan for you. Can you believe our answer is to wait?
This is not the first time we have had one of these experiences. Although this time, around it was easier to accept because we learned what happens when you do not listen. As we ponder, when we will receive an email, or phone call, we are trying all the while to remember how this is the Lord's plan.
This week we were reminded that not everyone in our circle of family and friends may "get it" yet that we are going to adopt.
Some of the phrases that we have heard over the last 6 1/2 years of marriage, go something like this:
- "If you just take additional vitamins..............you will get pregnant."
- "If you would just relax, then it would happen."
- "I know this woman, who got pregnant after she did......."
- "Once you adopt, you will get pregnant."
- "I just do not understand how anyone could place their baby for adoption."
- "I can't believe "e" is an only child, I mean her dad is on the high council, you would think that he would understand the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth."
One of the great mentor's in my life sent me an email recently that has resonated with me. She stated: "One of the things I've really come to learn through watching your process is how much support birth mothers need regardless of their decision."
We do not know how our life will turn out or how our birth mother will come to the brave decision to place her child for adoption. However, we do know that open adoption is a miracle, a gift, and a life decision. Our child will be loved by two families united by adoption. You can either be a partaker of this gift or left in the dark. By educating oneself, you can learn how to become a support to birth moms and adoptive couples.
Over the course of the last 6 months, teaching and supporting has been our main goal. There are many couples who struggle with infertility and who finally decide to adopt. Once this decision is made, the couple needs people around them who are willing to abandon previous misconceptions and be willing to be open minded.
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."- Donna Roberts
October 14, 2009
Funny how that happened
Last night I went to a family history class at the family history center. I typically do not attend relief society activities for various reasons. But last night as I was talking to Doug and working on the computer, all of the sudden the computer shut down automatically.
Doug and I looked at each other and thought well I guess you are supposed to go to this class tonight. So I got in the car, and traveled to the stk center. I arrived late but still was asked to play the piano. They had a woman speak about her experiences and then SURPRISE after her they asked me to speak.
You can imagine the shear terror that ran through my body, with the thought of not feeling prepared. I looked around the room and thought, "What do I tell them?" "What can I contribute that would be useful for these women?" "What story could I tell that would be impactful and drive the point home that family history, genealogy is SO important! How do I tell them that the Lord will inspire you with answers that you were never searching for or even knew were important.
So I related the story about little James Edward Hindman. I quickly closed and felt foolish after relating such a story to a group of women that seemed rather uninterested. But I saw one woman, who had welled up with tears and said to her friend "I don't know what is wrong with me, I can't stop crying."
I thought of the scripture (D&C 18 15-16) “And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" I have to count that ONE soul. It obviously mattered to her.
The rest of the class I listened to the presentation by the family history staff but felt uninterested. I prayed, listened, meditated and hoped that they would say something important that would apply to the roadblocks I have currently come upon. There was one thing that the man said "You can uncombine records if they were incorrectly combined." I thought, oh that is good to know, I need to do that. Why won't he show us?
I came home told Doug it was a bust and I did not know why I bothered. Then this morning I lay in bed, and while listening to the furnace kick on, hearing Doug fumble to get dressed in the closet, I had a thought.
"Marianne, You do not need anyone to show you." So I got up, walked over to the computer, and worked on uncombining a bogus record. It was easy and took me about 5 minutes. Now this person's temple work can be completed.
It is always best to follow up on the smallest of impressions they will usually lead to bigger ones.
Doug and I looked at each other and thought well I guess you are supposed to go to this class tonight. So I got in the car, and traveled to the stk center. I arrived late but still was asked to play the piano. They had a woman speak about her experiences and then SURPRISE after her they asked me to speak.
You can imagine the shear terror that ran through my body, with the thought of not feeling prepared. I looked around the room and thought, "What do I tell them?" "What can I contribute that would be useful for these women?" "What story could I tell that would be impactful and drive the point home that family history, genealogy is SO important! How do I tell them that the Lord will inspire you with answers that you were never searching for or even knew were important.
So I related the story about little James Edward Hindman. I quickly closed and felt foolish after relating such a story to a group of women that seemed rather uninterested. But I saw one woman, who had welled up with tears and said to her friend "I don't know what is wrong with me, I can't stop crying."
I thought of the scripture (D&C 18 15-16) “And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" I have to count that ONE soul. It obviously mattered to her.
The rest of the class I listened to the presentation by the family history staff but felt uninterested. I prayed, listened, meditated and hoped that they would say something important that would apply to the roadblocks I have currently come upon. There was one thing that the man said "You can uncombine records if they were incorrectly combined." I thought, oh that is good to know, I need to do that. Why won't he show us?
I came home told Doug it was a bust and I did not know why I bothered. Then this morning I lay in bed, and while listening to the furnace kick on, hearing Doug fumble to get dressed in the closet, I had a thought.
"Marianne, You do not need anyone to show you." So I got up, walked over to the computer, and worked on uncombining a bogus record. It was easy and took me about 5 minutes. Now this person's temple work can be completed.
It is always best to follow up on the smallest of impressions they will usually lead to bigger ones.
New Music: LOVE IT
Heard this song on the way home from work today. Absolutely love it. I just want to dance to it. I couldn't find an mp3, so play the video and see why I love this upbeat song.
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